I I am 19 years old and no one knows the real me. No one knows what goes through my head, and how much I am suffering. People have always seemed to like to tell me their issue but not to care about mine. I grew up where apperances are very important, and I have never seemed to fit in. I have always been on the larger size, having to compete with my perfect looking siblings and my gorgous “so called best friends”. I found out this summer how much I can so easily be forgotten.
I went through a phase where I was doing any type of drug you can imagine. My friends where slipping away and I couldnt handle it. Drugs made me numb. They still make me numb, but I do them a whole lot less. I can at least function now.
Ive had to deal with a death of one of my very good friends. She is in my mind everyday and I still cant believe she is gone. The 3 year anniverisity is coming up this novemeber. No one should have to die at such a young age. She was very sick and I know she is in a better place but I never really got to say goodbye.
No friend has really been there to help me through my struggles. I have to deal with everything on my own. Ive had to deal with to horrible of situtions by myself because no one seems to care enough to stick around.
There is far to many things that have happened to me for me to even began to write them down, those are just some.
This is my struggle for happiness, for peace of mind, love, and for true friends.
I will just go back to the haze of my drug crazed life and fade away.